KATE: “I have to run soon, but I wanted to tell you I saw a girl about your size, but her boobs were BIGGER!”

ME: “Haha, yes!”

KATE: “Well, actually, [my fiance] reminded me. I told him I talked to you last week and he said, ‘Did you tell her about that girl with the boobs?’ She was taller than you though, but her boobs were ginormous.”

ME: “I bet they were fake.”

KATE: “She looked like a tramp, though. I know it’s hard to imagine someone with real boobs bigger than yours.”

ME: “I bet she is. They’re usually telling.”

KATE: “I’ve been waiting online so I could tell you. It was a big deal.”

During the past five years, you have made my life interesting, to say the least. Yesterday at the Student Health Center, I realized I have visited them at least 50 times, if not more, and many of those visits are because of YOU.

I know, you don’t MEAN to be all finicky, but seriously?

You cannot keep doing this whole, ‘I want to be really, ridiculously warm one day and the next be frigid and wintery.’ … It’s just not working for me.

I got a shot in my backside yesterday, and while it is still a little sore, it made me feel A LOT better. I woke up this morning and could BREATHE OUT OF MY NOSE! It was an amazing feeling. But as soon as I stepped outside to go to class, that ability abruptly stopped and once again, my nose is full of snot.

Could you just be consistent for once? I have to sing in a wedding this weekend, and I don’t want to be gasping for air in the middle of my songs because YOU decided you wanted to keep up this little act of yours.

Just make up your mind one way or the other. I promise we’ll be better off than we are right now.

Begrudgingly yours,
E.P.

I came up with this earlier today and want to write lists of top 10 things on Tuesdays. *shrugs* Who knows how this will work or how long I’ll keep it up?

Onward:

Top 10 Memory Songs
10. “Once Upon a Dream,” Sleeping Beauty
09. “More Adventurous,” Rilo Kiley
08. “You Can Call Me Al,” Paul Simon
07. “Samson,” Regina Spektor
06. “Jesus, etc.,” Wilco
05. “Casimir Pulaksi Day,” Sufjan Stevens
04. “Black Water,” the Doobie Brothers
03. “Colorblind,” the Counting Crows
02. “Brothers on a Hotel Bed,” Death Cab for Cutie (and the ENTIRE Plans album)
01. “Just Can’t Get Enough,” the New Radicals

Honorable Mentions
“More than a Feeling,” Boston
“Maps,” the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
“Fresh Pair of Eyes,” Brooke Waggoner
“Drops of Jupiter,” Train

Soooo, what are yours?

ME: “I feel like that guy on Lost.”

EM: “But he had shrapnel in his abdomen.”

ME: “Well, I feel like I have shrapnel IN MY FACE.”

Something about music and movies brings so many people together. That can be seen from tonight at the Oscars.

One of my favorite moments?

Marketa Irglova’s acceptance speech for Best Song. (You can read her and Glen’s entire speeches there).

But the part that gave me chills was when she spoke about the song itself.

“And this song was written from a perspective of hope, and hope at the end of the day connects us all, no matter how different we are. And so thank you so much, who helped us along way. Thank you.”

If you haven’t seen Once, you need to see it.

Just listen to “Falling Slowly.” It’s one of those songs that can change your life.

If you want to act like a petulant child who is plugging his ears and screaming at the top of his lungs, “I’M NOT LISTENING, I’M NOT LISTENING,” that’s OK.

I don’t need you to listen to me to know I’m better off. And I don’t need to say anything else to you than what I did.

I’m done with your petty drama.

Just thought you should know.

Yours truly,
E.P.

Well, that was anticlimactic. I’m glad I devoted time to write about it this afternoon. *cough*

The silver lining?
One of the kids on Tennessee’s team who played really well went to my high school.

Do I know him?
No, but it makes me feel a little better that he got to be a big deal.

I’m still proud of the Tigers. Not everybody gets to be No. 1. But they have to work on their freethrows before the tournament. As my father used to say when he coached my church league team, every one counts. And the backboard is your friend.

That’s all I have. No more posts about sporting events because I apparently jinx them.

When I was a child, my family used to attend Memphis State basketball games regularly. I remember sitting near the band, dazzled by their Where is Waldo-esque blue and gray shirts, and cheering on the Tigers when the Pyraid was their home..

It makes sense, really.

Memphis is a basketball town. My high school won the state basketball championship three of the four years I was there. People live and breathe it. Basketball’s in our blood.

However, I wasn’t raised to respect the U of M, and when I graduated, I moved south to became a diferent type of tiger — a Bayou Bengal. (Needless to say, basketball did NOT determine my decision).

And five years later, the Memphis Tigers are ranked No. 1. It is truly amazing how far the team has come and being a native Memphian, I am incredibly proud of them, despite the issues they have had. And I root for them whenever they’re playing. (Last year, they were one of my teams to go to the Championship in my brackets).

I’m excited about the game tonight.

One of the other things about being raised in Memphis is you’re taught to either love or hate the Vols. And I loathe the color orange.

According to friends and family, the city is a-buzz and tickets are going for crazy prices. I wish I were there to experience it all, but I’m sure it will still be fun watching it here on the couch.

Go Tigers Go!

Other random thoughts this Saturday:
Barack Obama mailed me a Valentine.
The Ones We Love is something I would like to participate in.
This commercial’s song makes me want to pull out my hair.

Today, I learned about equine dentistry. (Yeah, you heard me right).

The bottom line: horsies need their toofers done, too.

The equine dentist has metal tools that are extremely large versions of a human dentist’s (minus the bubble gum flavored toothpaste). And his job is to SAW DOWN horses teeth so they can eat/function well.

First, he gives the horse a sedative. An assistant holds its head and fastens on a headpiece that holds the mouth open. And then, he dentist just sticks his hand INTO the horse’s mouth to feel around and starts work.

I saw not one, but two horses have their overbites corrected — their front teeth were shaved down. Yeah. Who wishes it was that easy to correct an overbite on a human? Any takers?

And you know what else I got to do?

Breathe. OK, this is kind of a big deal for a city girl who doesn’t like to be dirty ever. But I stuck my hand in one horse’s mouth.

I was forced — I kept on saying that I would live vicariously through them, but they weren’t having that — and stuck my hand in after a bit of coaxing.

And if Doc the horse could have spoken, he would have said, “Who the HELL are you, and WHY is your hand in my mouth?”

I heard this story on NPR this afternoon, and I really want to read this book when it comes out in March.

Nerd alert.